11 months of Axel

Those chubby fingers.  Those mile long lashes.  That ticklish baby belly.  His barely there hair.  

Eleven Months.  Seriously.  I can't take that it is to this point already.  I'm not ready for 1.  

Gingerbread Houses

Ivy counts down the days for lots of things and gingerbread houses is one of them.  We have bought kits in the past but this year we decided to make our own from scratch.  Lets just say there are pros to buying the kit.  BUT it was fun and we all pitched in to make it our very own.  Darin cut out templates for us and we all had to hold it in place while the frosting firmed up enough to stay.

This little guy kept trying to get us to give him candy.   Sorry buddy, just because you have teeth does not mean you can eat candy canes.  That smile won't change my mind either. ;)

The very hardest part for me is letting Ivy decorate it.  But after 6 years I am getting the hang of it.  Its not a magazine worthy gingerbread house by any means but really I couldn't have made one perfectly either.   Sometimes I feel like I give up on doing things because its not going to be done just right.  That it isn't how I pictured it would go or some silly thing like that.  I'm learning from my family that creating memories with them is doing it perfectly.  That a six year old's version of a gingerbread house, is awesome.  Or that the majority of the ornaments on the tree hanging from the bottom branches is just how it should be.  Because we did it together, and that is the best way to do things.  

Friendsgiving 2013

 I hosted the first Friendsgiving brunch this week.   It was a chance to get together and enjoy a peaceful morning with a few friends before the craziness of the holidays begins.  I think technically Friendsgiving means having Thanksgiving Dinner with your friends, but I thought brunch the week before sounded like a fun twist.  

It is potluck style,  so I encouraged my guests to bring something they have been dying to try. Maybe something fancy that their families would never eat, or a trial run on a new recipe for the holidays.  I had them let me know what they were bringing to make sure we didn't have only muffins and to help me decide what to make.

As hostess I also provided the drinks, a clean house and a cute baby for entertainment.  We had really yummy food and it was fun to hear how Thanksgiving ttraditions are so different for everyone.  And even though our views on turkey are different we all agreed that we are already looking forward to our new tradition of friendsgiving.

Giving Thanks to you.

{free 16x20 download here}

Normally in November I do a daily thankful.  I've missed it a little bit this year but I think saying I'm grateful for Axel every day might get a little repetitive.   And while I have so many things to be thankful for, he is always the first thing that pops in to my head.  When I look back over the past few years and think about where my heart was when I started an I'm Thankful month it kind of seems like a lifetime ago, and a different me.  I feel like I am whole these days.  I feel happy and amazed that I feel happy.   Its good.  So this month I'm giving thanks.  To my friends and my family.  To everyone who has been a part of this story.  I couldn't have done it without you.  

: rustic graphics via 

Yogi Tea

Ummmmm.  I'm just gonna come out and say it.  All of this clean eating is slowly turning me in to a hippie.   I mean, I just ordered a nut milk bag to make my own almond milk for heavens sake. I've been researching  baby wearing and gmo's.  I might even be considering cloth diapers. GASP!   I love it though.  Its a throwback to my Oregon roots. 

 So, side note I've just realized I do that a lot.  I look like a hipster?  Its cuz I grew up in Portland.  I justify every Nike purchase because they are from my hometown.  My love of sunshine comes from growing up without any sunshine.  Oregon.  Love it. 

But back to being a hippie.  Besides being "forced" ;) to eat really delicious pizza and homemade ice cream at my baby shower, which led to the return of pms and therefore the justification of frozen yogurt and a raid on my mom's cinnamon bears stash, I have done really well.  Haha!  Eating clean has become so much more to me than getting in to booty shorts, which is a whole different post.  I love how I feel and I love the effects it has had on other areas of my life.  All those cinnamon bears gave me was some zits and a stomach ache.  I think it also made me more anxious about baby coming.  

So what is a hippie to do when faced with a stomach ache and an anxious heart?  Yoga, obviously.   I've really loved doing more yoga this year.  It challenges me to be more present and focused, and gives me determination more than any other kind of exercise I do.   So Monday night I brewed some yogi tea, sat in baby's space and refocused.  My to do list shrank.  My priorities shifted back to where they need to be. 

My stomach ache is gone.  My anxiousness has been replaced by excitement and clarity. I still have the zits but with a little help from apple cider vinegar those will be gone soon too. I highly recommend being a hippie.    

And yogi tea.  

Yogi Tea

2 quarts water

15 whole cloves

20 black peppercorns

3 cinnamon sticks

20 whole green cardamom pods, split

8 slices ginger 

1/2 tsp black tea (decaf)  

Bring 2 quarts of water to a boil in a 3-4 quart pot. Add cloves and boil for one minute. Next, add cardamon, peppercorns, cinnamon, and fresh ginger root. Cover and boil for at least 30 minutes. For best flavor, cover and simmer for 2 to 3 hours, adding more water if needed.  When ready, remove from heat, add black tea and let cool. Strain tea. When ready to drink, mix 1/2 cup tea and 1/2 cup milk of choice and warm it up.  Sweeten with honey to taste.  Can be stored in the fridge or even frozen.

Yogi Tea is a health-promoting beverage and a tonic for the whole body. It strengthens the nervous system, energizes the body, clears the mind, and is both a remedy and preventive measure for colds, allergies, and other illnesses.
via Yoga Yoga

Let the adventure begin...

Baby brother is almost here.  Its getting real.  He has a space of his own waiting.  The space is in my heart and in our arms and in the guest room/baby room.  

I feel flighty and unsure of where to start on my suddenly urgent to do list.  But I know they are just things to do.  So I think about him instead.  I think about how calm he is going to make me.  Which sounds funny to say about a baby and all that comes with one.   But its true.  

I think about us.  The different versions of us.   We have been three for so long.  But we were just the two of us even longer than we have been three.  And already it feels like there has always been four.   The four of us.  I like it.

I think about her.  And my heart hurts.  I know her heart is going to hurt too. She is strong and brave and kind and loving.  She will be ok.   I just hope she knows how much we love her.  And can 't even begin to let her know how much she is a part of us.   Part of our happiness.  Part of our story.  Part of him.

There are so many things to do.  But the quiet moments in my thoughts are what are getting me ready.  

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I'm ready.  Let the adventure begin.  

2013 Fitness Goals

Is it too late to tell you my New Years Resolutions?  I hope not.   I really wanted to get them written down.  They have been sitting in my head and I'm kind of visual so this will help solidify them for me.  First up are my fitness goals for this year.  

Nothing too crazy.  The booty shorts one is going to be the hardest for me.  I don't want to run around in them or anything.  I just want to know that I could wear them and feel ok about it.  And you know the whole swimsuit thing...  Its going to be hard because of the whole pear shape thing.  But hopefully all of these other goals will help me get that one done.  

How about you?  Did you make any fitness goals this year?

The deets yo!

Wow.  This year took off like a shot didn't it?!  Is it really the end of January already? Has it really been a whole month since Christmas!  I didn't mean to leave you hanging after our exciting news {which you should check out by the way.}  Oh what you missed it the first time?  Here you go...  its only three minutes.  

I know its just so fun to watch isn't it?  I don't blame you for watching it again.  Ivy is a natural.  

Well with all that going on we are just waiting. Busy, but waiting.   SO I thought I'd fill you in with all the fun details.  

But first lets clear the air.   No I 'm not pregnant.  Haha.  That was a common misconception and in hindsight I suppose we should have not used ultrasound pictures.  But he is too cute not to share!  Ok now that thats out of the way here's the story of our best Christmas present ever.  

On the second monday in December I got a text from Darin to call him.  So I did.  Uhhh let me just tell you that the words out of his mouth were not what I was expecting at all.  He told me a birth mom had picked us and our profile had been taken down.  Hubba Whaaa??!! Well I instantly started crying and Darin's voice was all shaky which is boy for crying.  He only knew a little bit of information like the fact that our birthmom was having a boy, she was due in April and we would get to talk to her on Wednesday.  I was shaking.  My whole body was shaking.  And when I told Ivy.  Oh I wish I had it on video but it was the best every.  She started jumping up and down on the bed.  And since I was on the phone she started screaming, I'm getting a baby brother!!!! I'm getting a baby brother!!!!  Into the pillow.  I died.  We quickly decided to only let our parents know until we talked to her, cuz really how can you not tell someone that kind of news!?

I made this on my phone that night.  The very first feeling that washed over me when Darin told me the news was just this immense love.  I swear it was pouring right down from heaven and in to my heart.    You know how a little kid stands at the edge of the moving walkway, stuck and scared to get on?  That was me.  For way too long.  And in that moment it all changed and I was moving forward again.  

I posted this picture that we took at 12:12 on 12.12.12.  Did you know that was the last repetitive date we will ever have? And it was a moment I can't ever forget.   What were we doing?  Oh, just talking to our birthmom.  Nervously making small talk at first, and hanging up the the phone an hour later, knowing that she was meant for us and we were meant for her.  She thinks we are cool. We think she is amazing.    Do you know what she said?  That she was just so glad she could give us such an awesome Christmas present.  I love her.  Forever.  She also said some fun things like how she liked that Darin looked like Keith Urban.  That might have been my favorite part.  

After that we decided since it was so close to Christmas that we would make it our Christmas present to let everyone know the news.  The following Sunday we made our little video.  Then we packaged up the discs and mailed them out.  And waited.  It was SO hard for some of us to keep a secret.  I was fine.  The other two not so much.  But we made it and we had the best Christmas!  

And new year.  

And now we wait for April.  Ivy has a countdown chain in her room.  Darin signed up for those babycenter emails that tell you your baby is the size of an english cucumber or other various vegetables.  

Baby brother is always on her mind.  Multiple times during the day she will say things like I can't wait to teach baby brother....

and we are going to have to do this with baby brother...

and can we play birthmom?  Can we watch birthing videos?  

Always on her mind.  Always on our minds.  

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So thats the deets.  I can't tell you how much we appreciated all of your kind comments and emails.  THANK YOU!! 

How has your January been?!

A love note for Ivy.

Do you forgive me for one more post about kindergarten?  But sometimes I wonder if doing things like this is going to be the only time I do them so I want to love every second of it.  

Dear Ivy...

You are all grown up.  Kindergarten is a big deal but you are doing it effortlessly.  Today {the second day of school}  you went to the bus stop ahead of me and when I tried to cross the street you said Mom, you don't need to come, I don't need you.  I just chuckled when the other mom's said that would break their heart.  I laughed because I know that while you may not need me at the bus stop, that bravery flies out the window in your own home and you can't go in to the bathroom or even your own room by yourself. Especially if its dark.  It has driven me crazy all summer but now I will take the time to turn on the light in the bathroom for you.  Because you aren't going to need me for that very much longer either.  Ivy you are a strong girl with smart ideas and a beautiful smile.  Watching you go away from me on the bus I realized that I need you probably more than you need me.  You have made me the luckiest girl and I love you.  

But do you think you could stay little for just a while longer?  

Going to School Dinner.

Well, I am now that mom!  The one that has a kid in school.   Darin and I have been dreading and loving it as this day has gotten closer.  We ask ourselves things like...can she really be that old?  Can we really be that old?  Can she be any cuter?!  

  I've seen others doing their back to school dinners for the past couple years and here I am having my own for my very own kindergartener.  I used the back to school print from eighteen25 as my inspiration for a rainbow party.  And uh, it was all last minute so if you are looking for a quick and easy idea this would be the one! 

First I gathered up some colorful and school-ish things from Ivy's room.  A globe, her set of Roald Dahl books and some markers.  Once I got those arranged on the table I pulled out a piece of cardstock for every color of the rainbow.  I had to substitute pink for orange for two reasons.  One Ivy likes pink and not orange.  And I didn't have any orange.  I cut each sheet in to eight rectangles not being too exact on the size.  I made three strings of garland and with the remaining sixteen rectangles I stitched them together randomly for a little table runner. 

The menu requested by the kindergartener was macaroni & cheese and salad.  Red plates with pencils to make it a little bit fancy added more color to our table.   Its definitely a special occasion if we use fancy glasses AND have juice!

Of course you have to have cupcakes at a party for my girl.  Rainbow sprinkles make them perfect.  

After her cupcake and a blessing from her dad she is all sweetened up and ready to go.  I don't know if there has been a little girl more ready for kindergarten.  I am so excited for her and her new adventures! 

The Icing On My Cupcake

  The card is always the best part.  

Those two, Ivy and Darin, they are the jelly to my peanut butter...

The cheese to my macaroni...

The strawberries to my shortcake.  

Loving them and having them love me is the icing on my cupcake.

The Reason

Ivy loves Nativities.  Its one of those things that makes this mama's heart happy.  She loves to play Little Lord Jesus and Away in a Manger is her favorite song.  Hearing her cute little voice singing it gets me a little teary every time.  Because really, if we can succeed in REALLY teaching her the true meaning of Christmas I will consider myself the best mom ever. 

One lesson I want her to learn is something I learned a long, long time ago {ok not that long ago, I'm not that old!} in Primary.  My teacher wrote it on the chalkboard and I hope that I can teach Ivy the importance of this one little lesson.

We talked about how writing Xmas instead of Christmas takes away the most important part of the holiday and what we are truly celebrating.  Its such a tiny thing, but it has always stuck with me.  But its more than just when we write or type out Christmas. We need to try and keep Christ in all of our celebrating at Christmas time. 

 I would LOVE to hear how you do just that.  So please share all of the little ways you keep Christ in your Christmas.  Cuz this mama is going to need some good ideas if I'm going to be the best Mom ever!

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