I can hardly believe that a year + has gone by in my life. The extra months since Mothers Day have flown by filled with the business of summer. I haven't sat down at a computer for more than 2 minutes in those months. But here I am being the working girl for the weekend and staring at the screen trying to remember my feelings and thoughts from that day. I know there were specific things I wanted to say. I wanted to tell you how I was okay with Mothers Day this year. And that I finally feel okay with the fact that I am not going to be pregnant ever again. Somewhere in the blur of the last year I became okay.
I know there is so much more to say. But I still can't get myself to write it all down. This peace in my heart is really so new to me that I don't know how I feel about it, how to share it with you yet. And maybe that is why I have let the months go by without telling you. Because I still don't know how.
So for now I'm going to oversimplify it. I want you to know...
Infertility is hard. So hard. The years and years of hard kind of hard. And if you are going through any kind of it I'm sorry. I know its hard to believe someone when they tell you its going to be okay.
So can you trust someone that has been there? Someone that knows a little bit of how you feel? Cuz I do. And its going to be okay.