Mothers day written on just a regular day.

I can hardly believe that a year + has gone by in my life. The extra months since Mothers Day have flown by filled with the business of summer.  I haven't sat down at a computer for more than 2 minutes in those months.   But here I am being the working girl for the weekend and staring at the screen trying to remember my feelings and thoughts from that day.  I know there were specific things I wanted to say.  I wanted to tell you how I was okay with Mothers Day this year.  And that I finally feel okay with the fact that I am not going to be pregnant ever again.  Somewhere in the blur of the last year I became okay.

I know there is so much more to say. But I still can't get myself to write it all down.  This peace in my heart is really so new to me that I don't know how I feel about it,  how to share it with you yet.  And maybe that is why I have let the months go by without telling you.  Because I still don't know how.

So for now I'm going to oversimplify it.  I want you to know...

Infertility is hard.  So hard.  The years and years of  hard kind of hard.  And if you are going through any kind of it I'm sorry. I know its hard to believe someone when they tell you its going to be okay.

 So can you trust someone that has been there?  Someone that knows a little bit of how you feel?  Cuz I do.  And its going to be okay.

Promise.